Strange
by CaptainPop
Summary: What kind of friendship do Carly and Sam have? And should they over think it or just go where ever it leads?
1. Chapter 1

STRANGE.

"Strange, isn't it?"

Carly turned her head to the left and looked at her blond best friend with a furrowed brow. They were both laying back on the sofa, watching Girly Cow reruns on the television. Carly was sitting up while Sam was laid out on the sofa with her legs stretched over Carly at the calves. They were both tired. It had been a long night of television watching and popcorn.

Sam turned from the glow of the television and looked at Carly with the same detached, neutral look she always had. An almost bored look in her eyes as if she found life in general to be just another dull routine.

Carly blinked: "What is?"

"This. Us," Sam said, as if that explained her entire line of thought.

"We're strange?" Carly asked, obviously not following the thought process of Sam Puckett.

"No," Sam said, not sure why Carly Shay couldn't follow her simple thought. She should, though. It just came to her. Like an epiphany. It was just so blatantly obvious that the smarter brunette should have figured this one out ages ago. She was always the smarted of the two, the thinker, and the one that analyzed every single thing they experienced. Sam was the happy-go-lucky one that took life as it happened. Carly should be getting this. "This," Sam said more slowly, as if that would make it easier for the brunette to understand.

"Us hanging out?" Carly said, confused. "Sam, we've always hung out like this. Watching TV, inhaling popcorn and Peppy Cola. Vegging. How is this suddenly strange?"

Sam sighed heavily and stared at her best friend for a few seconds. Then, she turned her attention back to the show on the television. "Never mind, then."

Carly continued staring at her best friend lying beside her, not sure what to make of that statement. Sure, they were not the normal for best friends. Carly had to admit that she was a bit motherly toward Sam. And Sam was a bit overprotective of Carly. And Sam tended to ignore personal boundaries between them. And maybe they were far more physical than other best friends. But, that was because their friendship was different than everyone else. Sam was a very complex person. It seemed that only Carly understood the blond and had the ability to keep her out of trouble. Ok, maybe the ability to reduce the amount of trouble the blond got into. Carly was the only one that got to see behind Sam's walls, the only one with whom Sam felt comfortable enough to drop her guard. Carly was the only one who had Sam's complete and total trust and respect. They were closer than best friends. Closer than sisters.

Carly's eyes slowly opened wide and she quickly looked back to the television screen, but totally failed to follow what was going on as a sudden realization burst into her mind. They were as close as lovers.

Carly laid her hands on the exposed shins of Sam's legs where they stretched over her lap. Her skin was warm and smooth. And it felt good to touch her. The word 'close' echoed in her mind. Yes, they were very close. As close as lovers? Was their relationship that intimate? Define intimacy. Could friends be intimate? Sure, they could. Sex didn't have to be involved to be intimate. Did it?

She looked back at her friend's face. Sam was busy watching the television with disinterest and half lidded eyes. Carly studied Sam's face, as if there was some secret answer hidden there. She had to admit that the blond was definitely attractive. No, not attractive…beautiful. Yes, that was more accurate. Sam was beautiful. Her blond curls framed her face perfectly, her bangs barely covering those grey-green eyes. Carly loved those eyes. So deep and bright and fierce and determined. There was a quiet strength about Sam. Something in the way she lay there, relaxed but much like a tigress that could lash out with lightening reflexes.

Sam rolled her head back to meet Carly's gaze, locking her eyes with the dark brown eyes of the brunette. She raised an eyebrow in query and gave a wry half grin.

"Yeah?" was all Sam said.

Carly gave a smile in return. "Yeah. "


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, that was a mistake."

Carly turned her head with narrowed eyes to look at the smiling blonde sitting beside her in the driver seat of the small blue Neon. She was not sure which was more infuriating right now. It was either the bright, care free smile on her face or the fact that Sam had the audacity to state the frigging obvious. Carly hugged herself into her parka tighter, trying to hold in as much heat as possible, watching her breath turn to fog as she exhaled. Watching the stream of frozen air as Sam exhaled through her open mouth.

"Ya think?" Carly managed to say between chattering teeth. Her tone implied that there was no need to state what she already thought was quite accurate.

Sam had that happy smile she wore when she did something that she thought was fun, regardless of the outcome. She was never one to regret any decision she had made or any action she had taken. She lived her life in the moment. And she sat there with her hands still on the wheel, breathing fast from the adrenal rush, eyes bright and cheeks flush.

"You okay, Carls?" Sam asked, almost breathless, with the barest hint of concern in her voice.

Only Carly could perceive the flash of concern on her best friend's face as they stared at each other. "Just dandy, Sam. I love freezing to death inside a car that's buried in a snow bank."

The concern was gone in an instant. There a moment and then back behind that wall. Sam was satisfied that her Carly was unhurt. "It was fun, though! Right?"

Carly rolled her eyes. Only Sam would be focused on the fun element of spinning out of control, jumping a curb and slamming into a pile of snow. "Oh, yeah, Sam. Fun, fun, fun!"

Sam was unconvinced and frowned: "I sense a lack of sincerity in your words, cupcake."

"That's because this cupcake is getting iced. And not in a good way, Sam." Carly shivered again. Was it getting colder inside the metal can they were in now that the heater had stopped? "Can we go now?"

Sam turned to face the steering wheel and turned the key in the ignition. A rapid clicking came from the engine area. She tried again and got the same response. "Oh. That can't be good," she admitted.

"Sam?" Carly slowly asked, warning evident in her voice that Sam had better respond with more positive news than what Carly was hearing.

Sam smiled her best don't-worry smile at Carly and turned the key again. This time, the clicking died away fairly quickly until there was nothing when she turned the key.

"Sam?" Carly asked a bit more sharply.

Sam's smile faded to an even line with her lips. "Um, I think I killed it."

Carly sighed heavily and sank into her seat as if someone had deflated her. This was just great. They were stuck in a freezing car, in a snow bank, in an empty parking lot, in the late afternoon, in a Seattle snowfall, on a Sunday, in the quietest part of the city, and far away from anything warm. At least little miss murder was stuck here with her. She glared to the left at her friend who was looking out the back window at the empty parking lot.

She saw the object of her irritation half turned in her seat and staring out the back window of the little Neon, hood pulled up with long blond curls spilling out around her face and neck, down to her chest. She was breathing more calmly with that set look to her mouth that meant she was trying to work something out in her head.

"Any other great ideas?" Carly asked.

"Hrmm?" Sam answered, absently. She turned to look at Carly as if just realizing that her best friend was still with her in the car.

Carly just rolled her eyes and slowly shook her head. She took out her phone and dialed up Spencer. It rang twice before he answered. "Hi, Spencer. Doing anything special right now?... Well, we sort of need a ride home… Sam's car stopped working… The parking area at Sweyolocken Park… Yeah, there… How long?... Okay… Yeah, funny, Spencer. Just hurry. Bye." She shut her phone and tucked it back into her coat pocket and tried to gather heat inside her parka again.

"Spencer's coming to get us?" Sam asked, as if they had just finished shopping and were waiting inside the warmth of the mall.

Carly gave her a sidelong glare and shivered into her coat. "Yeah. In about two hours. Just about the time I'll be a Carly-sicle."

Sam laughed to herself. "Heh…Carly-sickle… That's funny because it sounds like Popsicle…"

Carly huddled into her parka and looked down into her lap. It was times like this that she wished she listened more to that cautious little voice inside of her head that warned her not to do stupid things like going for an afternoon drive on slippery streets when it was snowing and the plows haven't even been out. She had been safe and warm inside of her apartment and the snow had been something remotely blowing outside of the windows. Then, Sam had the great idea to go for a drive and convinced Carly to come along. It had seemed like a fun idea, the way Sam had described it. But, then, Sam could make anything risky sound like fun. Even spinning donuts in a deserted parking lot full of snow.

Now, Carly was cold right down to her toes. Without the car heater, the Seattle damp cold had seeped inside and was working its way through her clothes to her skin. Two hours was going to be a long time. And she was already terribly cold.

She looked up quick as a sky-blue puffy coat was draped across her lap and tucked in around her legs. Carly's brown eyes connected with grey-green eyes no more than a foot from her face as Sam was leaned over her, giving Carly the added warmth of her parka. She instantly felt Sam's surrendered heat sink through her jeans to her legs.

Then, the blonde shifted to sit on the center console between the seats and put her arms around Carly's neck and shoulders, sharing her body heat with the brunette, laying her cheek to Carly's forehead.

All Sam was wearing was her purple fleece hoodie, the mitts Carly had bought for her when winter first started and Sam was still in the planning stages of getting proper gear, and under the hoodie was a long sleeved red turtleneck. Sam was giving Carly her heat. Sam was protecting her from the cold.

Carly smiled. It was times like this that she understood why she didn't always listen to that little voice inside her head when Sam came up with these crazy and spontaneous ideas. It was simply because no matter how wild and crazy the idea might be, Sam would always make it fun. And Sam would always look after her. No matter what they did and no matter what happened, Sam would always keep Carly safe. She trusted in that explicitly.

Sam' breath came out in a icy fog as she exhaled from above Carly.

"Better?" was all Sam asked.

"Yeah," was all Carly could think of to say.


	3. Chapter 3

1 Text Message

_**Bored.**_

What's wrong, Sam?

_**Bored.**_

I get that. Why?

_**Typical Puckett Xmas Eve.**_

Oh. R U Ok?

_**Bored.**_

I heard that somewhere.

_**Scrooged is on…again. Mom's yellin at the cat…again.**_

Why?

_**He won't wear the antlers.**_

…!

_**Yeah, don't ask…**_

Some storm outside.

_**Yes, it is. Street is already buried.**_

It's getting worse.

_**I hear that. At least U don't haft a shuvl.**_

No.

_**How's the party?**_

Good.

_**??**_

It's ok, Sam. Just wish U were here.

_**Course U do, cupcake. No Sam = no party!**_

:)_**  
**_

_**Fredweird bring his mistletoe n hope?**_

Sam, be nice.

_**No. _**_

No. He went to some Xmas bash at his Mom's work.

_**Oh,good…nub.**_

Sam!

_**~v~**_

CU 4 supper 2morrow?

_**Never miss food! Spencer doing the ham up?**_

U know it!

_**Does it smell like ham there now?**_

LOL!

_**I'll let u get back to your party. Nite, Carlotta!**_

Ok, Sam.

_**RU ok?!**_

Yeah. I'm fine.

_**I don't believe U.**_

I'm ok, Sam. Merry Xmas.

_**Spencer burned the ham.**_

LOL. No.

_**Good.**_

Nite, Sam.

_**Why?**_

Why what?

_**Just tell me, cupcake.**_

What?

_**Whatever's wrong.**_

Nothing's wrong.

_**You sure?**_

Yup. :|

_**Riiiiight…**_

Nite, Sam.

_**Nope. Tell me what's wrong.**_

Ok. Power's out. S'ok tho. Be on soon.

_**So…yer in the dark?**_

Yeah. We got candles.

_**Spencer and fire? Good choice?**_

Prob not. :\

_**LOL. What else?**_

Nuthin. I'm good.

_**U sure??**_

Yeah. I'm fine, Sam.

_**Still don't believe you.**_

OK. Just not the same this year.

_**Cause I'm not there?**_

Yeah.

_**Sorry.**_

S'ok, Sam. No1 knew we were gonna be hit with a blizzard.

_**Yeah. Streets sux for walkin. No buses. Damn cold too.**_

As long as yer here for supper 2morrow!!!!!

_**You open a gift yet?**_

What?

_**A gift. Xmas Eve. Ya get to open a gift.**_

Oh. No not yet.

_**What do u want most of all right now?**_

Most of all?

_**Yeah.**_

You here with me for Xmas.

_**Good.**_

Why?

_**Open your door, cupcake…**_


	4. Chapter 4

_Ow!_

_Damn it, jackass, learn to drive. What are ya doin'? Aiming for every pothole. Oof! Are you even _on_ the road?_

_Erg… where are you going now? I'm bouncing all over the place back here. Can ya at least slow it down a bit. Some of us do _not_ have a comfortable seat._

_Oh, where the heck are you taking us?_

_What did he say? Man, turn down the radio, dude! Mama can't hear a thing you're saying. Maybe I should take a quick peak – Woah! Curve!_

_Let's see…hey, alright, Carls! When did you slip over next to Kev? And no seatbelt, either…oooh, risky girl. I like it…yeah, head on his shoulder…you go girl…work those feminine charms…_

_Eep! Crap-crap-crap…mirror…forgot about the damned mirror! Did he see me?? Yes? What's he saying? They're laughing? At me? Hrmm…we' re not stopping… no one's looking over the back seat. They didn't see me…aw-right!_

_Invisible ninja!!_

_And…queue the giggle…nice one, Carls… work it!_

_Ooh! Slow song…work the magic…_

_Are those trees? Yup, those are trees. Where _are _we? This is __**not**__ the city._

_Hey! We're stopping! Good…time to get comfortable back here…_

_Nice music. Romantic. Low light…what is that? The moon? Street lamp? Nice touch, dude. Might want to turn up the heater, though…kinda chilly back here…hmm? Carly, shut up and kiss him, already! Yeah, there ya go…_

_Sigh._

_Only a best friend would agree to do this… I so feel like a perv… Wait! What's that wet snapping noise…oh, ick! I so did not need to hear them making out…Damn! Turn the radio up!_

_Hum…hum…da-humm…la-la-la…youuuu owwweee meeeee BIG!!!_

_Oh, Sam, _you said. _That hot guitarist from the band Granger asked me out,_ you said. _He's got his own Mustang, what if he wants to go park? Kiss him,_ I said. _Duh,_ you said. _What if he wants to – _you know? you said. _Do you __**want**__ to… _you know? I said. _And then you got all nervous about dating an older guy who might have expectations for a date…jeeze, way to kill a mood, chick! Sometimes ya just gotta go with it – WHAT?!!_

"**I SAID STOP!!!**" Carly screamed.

I popped up from the back seat of the Mustang and grabbed Kev the Guitarist around his pretty little neck in a Puckett Special head lock, pulling him up in the driver's seat and away from Carly's very flustered and very angry and very surprised body which had scuttled as far as she could get to the other side of the car.

"SAM!" Carly cried out, eyes wider than saucers. Then, the eyebrows came down: "Sam?"

Uh-oh…

"WHO--?" the twit in the crook of my elbow croaked.

"Shut up!" I screamed at him. "I'll get to you in a minute… And put down your hands, bitch, you can't break this grip!"

Carly was nodding: "She's right…you can't…bitch."

I smiled at my Carlotta…nice. Grace under fire. Then, she glared at me. Oh, yeah…I'm still in deep ka-ka. I stopped smiling.

"Get off me – erp!" Damn, Kev was an idiot.

"I said: I'll get to you in a minute." I turned back to Carly. "Um, so… you look nice…" I flashed her my best smile of innocence. Damn, she can see right through me…

"What are you doing here, Sam?" Man, you'd have thought I'd interrupted a nice little dinner date.

I was somewhat speechless. How do I say: Well, you asked me to tag along on your date… is it my fault if I went too far…

"Stalker, much?" she said. "Movies, Sam. I said to be at the movies to rescue me if the date was a disaster."

My eyes went wide. I was a bit surprised. I nodded at Kev still locked in the crook of my elbow. "Um…hello? Tonsil boy here with the roaming hands?"

"Kevin," Kev tried to croak out.

"Shut up," Carly and I said at the same time…that was awesome…stereo…

"Look," I said to Kevin. "Open the door and get out or I'll choke ya til ya pass out and kick your ass outta the car. K?"

Kevin nodded and reached for the door, pushed it open and swung his legs out the door. I loosened my grip on his windpipe and he took the opportunity to break free of my kung-fu grip, jump out of the car and turn around to stare at us. And, while he was doing his pirouette from the car, I flowed into the front seat with my ninja skills and pulled the door shut. And locked it.

Carly was hugging herself rather tightly and her eyes were wet. I saw now that her pretty red blouse, the one I had helped her pick out for this date, the one that I said made her look hot and older than her 17 years, had been torn open, buttons missing. I felt myself getting hot like a propane tank just exploded in my head. My head snapped around to the face shouting into the window beside me.

I reached for the door handle. Another hand got there first and I felt her breath at my cheek, an arm around my neck, her weight against me. She hung to me the way a drowning man hugs a life raft. I felt the wet tears on my skin and heard her sobs. I worked my right arm around Carly's waist and held her to me, rubbing her side and shushing away her sobs. This ass wasn't worth her tears.

Brainiac decided to hammer on the glass and shout obscenities.

I rolled the window down a crack. I glared at him.

"Gimme back my car, bitch!" he shouted. Nice. Lotta courage when yer on the other side of an ass-whoopin'.

"You want your car?" I shouted back, as I shifted the idling engine into gear.

"Yeah!"

"Pick a number between one and fuck off!"

I floored it, burned rubber and left num-nuts behind.

I smiled.

Good date, I thought to myself. Nice movie, nice car…and I get the girl in the end.


	5. Chapter 5

"Get back in bed, Sam."

Carly's voice was quiet, but firm. And a bit tired. Why did the blonde tigress insist on being _so_ difficult? Any other time and she would never be able to even budge Sam from a bed. In fact, one could be risking health and safety to even try to wake her up. Why can't she just be her normal self and stay in bed?

Sam stood in the middle of her bedroom, swaying amid the remnants of previous days' wardrobes, eyes puffy and half closed, cheeks flush, breathing heavy and labored through parted lips. Her eyes were glassy and moist, somewhat unfocused as if staring through a fog, a struggle to keep them open. Her blonde curls wild like Medusa. She did her best to stare back at Carly from under sad brows.

She was half dressed. A blue t-shirt that was inside out. Jeans that had only made it onto her left leg and were now hanging from her knee. And socks that did not quite make it all the way onto her feet. The only thing that was right on her body was the black boxers she wore. And Carly had put those on her.

Carly blocked the doorway to Sam's room with a tray in her hands, steam lazily curling up from the bowl of chicken and ham soup on it. And although her own eyebrows were drawn together in a mix of anger and irritation, her eyes held compassion for her best friend.

"Bed, Sam. _Now_," Carly said with finality.

"rrrmmm…school…," Sam mumbled at the vague concept of a person in her doorway that was trying to keep her from doing whatever it was she was thinking about doing.

Carly rolled her eyes and set the tray down on the night table by the bed. She moved behind the shorter blonde girl who was trying to turn and follow the blurry image that had just breezed by her. Carly held Sam by her shoulders and helped to keep her steady as she turned her back to the bed.

"Spinning," Sam said. "Mama no like…"

"Shhh," Carly soothed, guiding her friend into the bed, helping her roll onto her back. "I'm the mama today, Sam. Now get into bed and let me help you sit up. I have some soup for you. It'll help."

Carly pulled Sam up on the pillows, propping her up into a semi-sitting position. Sam was like a wet, limp rag doll. Carly pulled off Sam's socks, which were practically falling off anyway, and removed the pants from her one leg. Then, she pulled the comforter up to Sam's chin and tucked it in around her sides, leaving her arms on the outside. Sam did not like to be confined, even by blankets.

Sam sighed heavily and Carly could see that she was trying to focus on her face. Sam's mouth curved ever so slightly upward. Carly put her lips to Sam's forehead, feeling the volcanic heat and tasting the beads of sweat on her skin, and received a sigh of contentment from the blonde.

She sat on the bed beside Sam. Sam's right arm raised slowly, just enough to fall back onto Carly's lap. There was absolutely no strength to it. Carly took the soup into her hands and set it on the comforter under Sam's chin. The sick girl's eyes just followed everything that her friend was doing, half-lidded and glazed. She was still under the effects of a Tylenol fever reducer Carly had given her earlier. For all her toughness, Sam had absolutely no head for narcotics.

"Sammy," Carly started, as if talking to a child, which was never really far from the truth, "I want you to swallow this soup. Ok?"

Sam slowly nodded.

Carly brought a spoonful of broth and chicken and ham and noodles to Sam's lips, tipping it so that she could draw it into her mouth. She smiled as Sam swallowed. Then, she spooned up more soup for her friend. Carly had made it downstairs with Sam's mom from a mix of two recipes for Sam's favorite foods…chicken and, of course, ham.

With the soup finished, Carly put the bowl back on the tray and took the cloth from it and wiped at Sam's mouth. She put the back of her hand to Sam's forehead and felt the heat there. When was this fever going to break?

Carly sat back and took Sam's hand on her lap in her hands. The ill girl's grip was weak and she did her best to hold on to Carly. She found Sam's eyes and smiled, rubbing the back of her hand.

Sam was watching Carly as she watched her, eyes blinking lower and lower each time.

"Carls," Sam mumbled, fading under the mix of medication and warm soup in her belly.

"Shh," Carly soothed. "Sleep now, Sammy. I'll be here, tidying your room. You just get some rest."

"K…" Sam was drifting away into fevered slumber.

Carly put Sam's hand down on the comforter and stood up. Good, she was closing her eyes. Now to the task of her friend's rather unkempt bedroom.

This was becoming a monthly task for Carly. How long has she been cleaning after Sam? Six? Seven years? How is it that the girl couldn't even hit the laundry basket? Carly began to move about Sam's room, picking up her friend's tossed clothing and putting it in the laundry basket she kept in Sam's room. She'll take it down to the washer in a bit and start a wash. Over on the opposite side of the bed she moved a pile of shirts and came across a bunch of crumpled and empty Fat Cakes packages. She gathered them up and went over to the empty garbage can and dumped them in.

She turned to look at the room. Better, she thought. And her eyes fell onto Sammy's sleeping form. Her breathing was evening out and her face was getting more relaxed. She was sure the girl was asleep now. Good. She needed rest. And Carly had to admit that she enjoyed looking after her Sammy. It made her feel strangely fulfilled. Must be the mothering instinct, she decided.

Carly smiled at her friend. A warm feeling grew within her. What was this feeling? Peace? Contentment? That everything was suddenly right with the world when she was with Sam? Would this feeling last forever? Would they? As she watched her friend sleep, she mouthed the words: I love you…

Sam's lips parted ever so slightly in a smile.


	6. Chapter 6

"Happy Valentine's Day!"

Carly was sweating heavily. Her heart was beating quickly. She was breathing hard and fast. This thing on her face sure didn't help much. Every nerve in her body was alive. She kept turning her head left and right to keep an eye on her flanks. The gun in her hand seemed glued to her grip. Her finger was almost on the trigger, right beside it like Sam had shown her. And she kept the gun tucked against the chest of the black coveralls she wore.

It was dark and close in here, except for the white flashes of the strobe lights on either side of the area. The sound of explosions and rapid-fire machine guns filled the air from a dozen hidden speakers. It was like crouching in a midnight thunder and lightning storm without the rain.

Her back was to the upturned piece of plywood. She could feel it just brushing against the padded back of her vest. She tilted her head back and forth to get the helmet to sit better.

Across from her was Sam, her grey-green eyes wide with adrenalin and probably a grin of joy from ear to ear behind the mask. All Carly could see was her bright eyes through the goggles, but she knew Sam well enough to deduce the rest. Sam was having a blast.

Sam was crouching on her ankles beside the wreckage of a burnt out sedan, facing Carly. Her gun was held the same way as Carly, but Sam seemed more familiar with the weapon. It looked more to be a part of her, an extension of her body. She didn't hold the paint gun as much as meld with it.

Carly thought about shouting to her again, but figured that Sam would still never hear her.

She watched as Sam waved her left hand, palm out, in front of her face, toward Carly. She made a finger gun with her hand and inverted it, upside down. Then, she pointed a finger at Carly, two fingers at her own eyes and pointed to her left, Carly's right. She pointed to herself and made walking fingers to her right, Carly's left, and curved her hand around behind Carly's position. She pointed at Carly again, then to her left, Carly's right, showed her five splayed fingers, crossed index and ring finger, and two fingers. Then, she lowered her arm almost to the ground and waved a flat hand side to side quickly. All the time staring directly at Carly's eyes.

Ok. Hoping she remembered everything that Sam had taught her, Carly gave Sam a thumbs-up signal. She turned to her right and slid to the side of her barrier, and dropped to her right knee, counting to ten in her head, readying to lean out to the exposed side of the barrier and fire out her weapon. At ten, she repositioned her left leg out into the open and leaned that way, pointing the business end of her compressed air paint gun toward the snapshots of wood and metal barricades and pulling the trigger again and again, feeling the air-propelled balls fire from the barrel, the gun vibrating in her hand. The power of it was addictive.

In the flashes of strobe light, as she fired, she saw the running figure of Sam like stop-motion frames of a film, running toward the right side of the barricade, gun up. She dropped to her kneepads and skidded past the barricade, fell to her right side and had the barrel pointed to the area behind the barrier. Then, she was suddenly motionless, lying on the ground.

Was she hit? Carly was up in an instant, racing for her fallen friend. She dropped to her knees beside Sam and rolled her onto her back, looking for paint spots, finding none. Sam was pointing to their right, behind the barrier. Carly slowly looked up to see two figures standing, guns raised to the ceiling, paint covering their heads and backs and fronts and facemasks.

Carly looked down at the shining eyes of her best friend who was looking back up at her. Sam reached up and softly patted the side of Carly's facemask.

Carly rolled her eyes. Only Sam would consider a night of competitive paint ball to be a typical way to spend Valentine's Day. But, then again, where Sam was concerned, nothing they did together was ever typical.

It was a fun date, though, she had to admit. Every year since they had met, Sam had made this day special. They had decided early on in their friendship that February 14th was going to be their day. Nobody else's. Sam had nobody else to share it with except for Carly. She had told her every year that Carly was the only person that she loved enough to spend this day with. It had started as childhood innocence, best friends forever, and became tradition. And not for the first time, Carly could think of nobody else that she would rather spend this day with. There was nobody closer to her than Sam.

Sam sat up and looked at Carly, tilting her head to the side like an inquisitive dog. Her eyes flashed a look that was undecipherable to Carly. Then, she leaned in and tapped the fore of her helmet to Carly's, their goggles almost touching, and her eyes began to smile, brighter than the sun. Carly could feel herself getting lost in those orbs of Sam's. Then, Sam stood up and pulled Carly up with her, standing together, hands holding hands, inches apart, still staring at each other.

Sam banged their mouth guards together as they stood. It must have been accidental, but it seemed to linger for a moment, as if time froze for them.

Carly gave Sam a look of confusion through the goggles, not sure what she was feeling or what was going on. The rush of battle? The joy of victory? Sam only gave her a slow nodding, as if she was agreeing with something unsaid.

Then, Sam pointed to the safe area, took Carly by the hand and led them off the field of battle, leaning her mouth guard as close to where Carly's ear would be. She shouted something over the noise. It was difficult to hear clearly, but Carly was pretty sure she understood what the blonde had said.

The paint ball game was Carly's Valentine's Day gift to Sam.

What Sam had just said was her gift to Carly.

Carly smiled. It was all she ever really wanted.


	7. Chapter 7

"It had to end sometime, cupcake…"

The countdown began: "In 5 – 4 – 3 – 2…"

"_I'm_ not Carly!" said the Asian girl.

"And _I'm_ not Sam!" said the freckled red head beside her.

Together they said: "But, _this_ is still iCarly!"

The two teens hammed it up for the webcam as the new iCarly theme music played with the original web graphics for the show flying up on the screen and dissolving into a new web graphic. The music faded to the back ground and the graphic spun away. And it went on from there.

"So?"

Carly looked to her left, at the blonde standing beside her at the desktop monitor in the kitchen of the loft. She was trying to read Sam by studying her face. It was the first time that they were in the online audience of iCarly. She needed to know what her best friend was feeling. After all, she was surprisingly silent through the entire meeting that had decided the fate of their little web show.

Sam said nothing as she walked away from the monitor, into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator for a raiding mission.

Sighing, Carly followed after her and leaned against the kitchen counter as her friend rifled through the cold cabinet of food. And, although she was truly enjoying the view from this angle, satisfied in her choice of rather fitting khaki shorts for Sam to wear, she was distracted by this hollow feeling inside her. She needed to know what Sam was feeling and if she felt this emptiness, too.

"You're going ta over analyze this," Sam grumbled from inside the refrigerator. She emerged with a handful of ham wrapped in tinfoil, mayonnaise, and a stalk of celery. "I can tell."

Carly watched the blonde eating machine set the ham and jar of mayonnaise on the counter and turn to her holding the celery stalk. "No, I'm not…," Carly began…

Sam stared at her taller brunette over-thinking friend with a raised eyebrow. She didn't feel that she needed to say anything. She knew that anything she said at this point would be…well…pointless. There was no stopping Carly when she got going.

"Ok, yes I am," Carly said, quickly, exasperated. "Sam, it's over. Don't you feel _anything?_"

Maybe Sam should have been insulted by that remark, but this was her Carly and she knew that no insult would have been intended. She just smiled a humorless smile, really a movement of her lips in a mockery of a smile. "I feel like we made the right decision."

Carly wrinkled her brow and cocked her head to the side. "You do? But, you never said anything at the last meeting. When we decided to hand off iCarly to a new cast, you just sat there and said 'Whatev!'"

Sam stared at Carly for a couple of seconds. It took a moment for her to realize that they were talking about two different things. She let out a sigh of air and slowly flicked the celery stalk at Carly. She shook her head and looked down at the ham sitting on the open tinfoil on the counter. For a moment, Sam had almost lost her appetite. But, this was cold, thick slabs of juicy, mouthwatering piggy goodness that –

Someone snapped her fingers at Sam's face. Sam shot her head up again and stared at Carly. Oh, yeah, they were doing the feelings thing again.

"Sam," Carly said in almost a whisper. She was staring into Sam's eyes with a glassy look as tears began to form within the lid, spill over and begin their descent down Carly's perfect cheeks. In a rush, she moved into Sam, grabbing her in a tight hug, her face buried in Sam's neck and blond curls, sobbing.

Sam put her arms around Carly and held her close, rubbing her back slowly, stealing a look down at her poor, abandoned ham with longing.

After a time, Carly slowed to sniffles and took a step back from Sam, holding on to her waist and looking into her eyes, searching for something. Sam's hands had moved to her arms, holding her by the elbows. She had that disconnected look on her face, like she was someplace else. Carly looked down at the counter beside them, to the shiny tinfoil, to the slabs of meat upon it. She looked back up at Sam and shook her head. Only Sam.

"Eat your meat," Carly told her friend, breaking their connection and walking away toward the living room.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "It sounds dirty when you say it like that."

Carly stopped and spun half around at her hip, her long dark brown hair swinging over her face, her eyes half-lidded and her voice adopting a sultry tone: "Maybe I meant it dirty…"

Sam slowly flicked the stalk of celery at Carly: "Doooon't tease Mama…"

Carly came back to the opposite side of the counter and leaned into it, looking deeply into Sam's beautiful eyes. My God, they were beautiful. She was beautiful. She was perfect. And she made Carly feel like…

"Sammy, what happened to us?" was all Carly could manage.

Sam shrugged. "Nothing, Carls. We just grew up."

Carly frowned. Maybe Sam wasn't getting it. Maybe _she_ wasn't saying it right. This never used to be a problem. "No, Sam. I mean _us_. You and me. You know?"

Sam sighed. "Carly, we tried that. Remember? We spent a year together. Secret rendezvous, private sleep overs, kisses in the dark. You were so afraid that someone would see us…" Sam let her voice trail off. She could already see where this was heading. They had traveled this way before and the path was already well beaten.

"Sam," Carly choked out. "Sam, I'm sorry. I'm just not ready to go public. I don't even know if that's what I am. I don't look at other girls like I look at you. Maybe it's our close friendship that makes me want you more. We've always been…"

"Different," Sam finished for her.

Carly nodded. "Yeah… But, in a good way."

"Face it, Carlotta. I'm your Tonto, your Hutch, your R2D2."

"I thought the sidekick was the gold robot?" Carly said.

"C3P0," Sam informed her friend. "Depends on your perspective…"

"I see you more as the wookie…" Carly smiled.

Sam gave her a deadpan look.

"Seriously, Sam," Carly continued. "I want us to go back to what we were."

"Can't go back, cupcake," Sam shook her head. "Only forward. You told me that."

Carly looked down and whispered, "Yeah, well, maybe I was wrong…" She looked back up at her best friend and possibly more. "Maybe we can try again…" she said, a glimmer of hope in her voice.

Sam looked down and let out some air. Not this again. "Carly, no. I don't want you in the shadows. I want you in the light. We aren't something to be ashamed of. Or afraid of."

"I'm just not ready to go public, Sam." Carly gave a slight smile. "Not yet. Not until I'm sure of what I am. I'm just not as certain as you."

Sam was tired of this. Maybe her voice didn't need to be so loud or so angry, but she was so tired of this circular argument: "Carly! Stop! I don't know what I am, either. Why are you so freakin' concerned about labels? Why do we have to be anything but together? Who cares what anyone else thinks?"

Tears were in Carly's eyes again. "I do!" she shouted back at Sam in frustration. Why could she not understand? People had expectations of her. Carly was the perfect girl. Perfect grades. Perfect future. She wasn't allowed to be anything else. She couldn't let anyone down. She was supposed to graduate from school, get married to a man and have children. She couldn't be gay. That wasn't in everyone else's plans.

Carly stood rigid with hands balled into fists on the counter, eyes shut tightly, trying to will Sam to understand.

"I don't!" Sam shouted back, hands into fists. She threw both hands up, flat to Carly as if telling her to stop. She took a deep breath to calm down. That was odd, her being the one to calm down. Her voice, when she spoke, was much calmer. "I can't do this anymore, Carly. I'm sorry. I can't."

Sam moved around the counter, slowed as she passed Carly who was staring blankly at the countertop, and continued toward the apartment door, grabbing her jacket on the way. She stopped at the door and turned to look at Carly one last time. Carly turned to face her.

"I know what I am and what I want," Sam said quietly. "You need to decide who runs your life, Carly. You need to decide what _you_ want. Otherwise you'll never be happy."

"Sam…? Sammy?" There was confusion on Carly's face. She took a hesitant step forward. It felt like the bottom was falling out of her world. The look on Sam's face was sadness, disappointment. How can the person that means to most to her be disappointed in her? She was trying to do everything right. Everything everybody wanted her to do, to be. How could she fail to please the person she loved the most? But, how could she please everyone else and still make Sam happy? She pleaded: "Stay?"

"I can't help you with this, Carly," Sam said, sadly. She could feel the tears starting in her own eyes. "I need to move forward. I can't stay. I've already made my decision, cupcake. I'm sorry."

She opened the door and paused before leaving to say back: "Stay brune."

Carly watched the door slowly shut with Sam on the other side. She felt as if her legs had been amputated. The world grew misty and began to spin. She fell to her knees and buried her face in her hands, falling to the floor in tears and heaving sobs. In that moment, in that instant, she felt everything slipping away.

Sam's voice echoed in her head: "…it had to end sometime…"


	8. Chapter 8

To: mamaluvsham

From: carlottasway

Sam, where are you? You haven't talked to me in almost a month! I miss you!! You never answer your phone when I call and you won't text me back. I'm sorry. For everything I said and everything I did. I just want you to talk to me again. I don't care what we talk about. I just need you. Your Mom said you grabbed some stuff and went to stay with Melanie but never said when you were coming back. We graduated last week. I was sure you would be there. We worked so hard for this day. I needed to share it with you. Please, why won't you talk to me? We're still best friends, right?

Luv U, Carls

* * *

To: carlottasway

From: mamaluvsham

Carly. Chill. BFF, ok? I had to get away for a while and Mel let me stay with her. She dragged me to some special retreat with this "save the world" group she's with. You know, she never told me we were gonna live 3rd world style… *grumble* No phones. No internet. All we did was get up at dawn, learn farming and building skills, get taught on how to teach, do courses in engine repairs and mechanics, irrigation, medicine basics, stuff they want us to teach people in Africa. I'm sorry we haven't talked. But, really, there isn't any point beating a dead horse by talking. I said all that I had to say, cupcake. I moved forward. It's up to you now. Have you even told Spencer?

Love and Kisses, Sam.

* * *

To: mamaluvsham

From: carlottasway

I miss you soooooo much, Sammy!!! I wish I could hear your voice again. Nothing feels the same without you around. I miss your eyes, I miss your touch. I know what you want me to do. It's so hard, though. I keep trying to tell Spencer, but I don't want him to think I'm weird. Freddie knows something's up. I just need more time.

What's this thing you and Melanie are doing? It sounds interesting. I can't picture you doing all that work… Tell me more about it. I want to hear about your life. I need you in my life.

BFF, Carls

* * *

To: carlottasway

From: mamaluvsham

It's something Mel has been planning for the past two years. I can't believe she talked me into going with her… This group is called Hand To Hand and they want to spend a decade in remote parts of Africa helping to develop local villages and teach skills. It's pretty neat work. We've learned a lot in the past month. It's great to be back to civilization, though. I luv hot showers and fast food!!! I have sooo much to catch up on with emails and texts. There's nothing like this in Africa. It'll be like being cut off from the world, swallowed up. For ten years!!! Can you imagine that? Wow.

I'll always be a part of your life, Carls. Even if we aren't together. You will always be in my heart. Life is like diet food without you. You can eat it, but the taste really sux! All I ever wanted you to be is honest with yourself. You'll be miserable if you aren't. There's a freighter leaving on the 15th from Seattle for the west coast of Africa. The entire group is leaving on it. Mel and I are driving back to Seattle to say goodbye to Mom. Then, we'll be at Terminal 18 at the Port of Seattle. The ship is leaving at 8PM if you want to say goodbye. Gotta run. There's so much we gotta do and then it's a two day drive home. We'll have about enough time to visit Mom before we gotta get to the docks.

Hugs, Kisses and Love Forever and Ever, your Sam.


	9. Chapter 9

Her eyes were locked on the digital clock in the dashboard radio display. It was almost 8 o'clock now. Why couldn't Spencer drive any faster? She kept looking at him and then the road as if she was able to will the traffic out of the way and make the car speed up.

Spencer was hammering the horn as he zigged and zagged through Seattle summer traffic, hurrying the small car through the streets to the waterfront docks as fast as he could go. Freddie was gripping everything he could hold onto in the back seat as the rocking car knocked him from side to side, despite his lap belt holding him to the seat.

_Damn it all to hell!_ Carly screamed at herself. _Why did that email have to arrive so late? I'm not gonna have enough time!! She can't leave. I need to see her one last time…"_

The radio was playing some old song. Why was it that every station lately was playing sad songs that squeezed the life out of her heart? She stared at the radio as she heard the familiar words, her mind flashing back to that last time together…

_**How can I just let you walk away? Just let you leave without a trace. When I stand here taking every breath with you. You're the only one who really knew me at all…**_

Sam was standing in the open doorway holding her jacket, staring at her as if she was waiting for Carly to say something to make her want to stay. Why didn't she say something? _Anything?_ Why didn't she make Sam stay? Why did she just let her walk away? Out of her life? Sam could see right through her, the insecurities, the fear, the obsessions. Why couldn't she see her love, her want, her need?

_**How can you just walk away from me? When all I can do is watch you leave. 'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain, and even shared the tears. You're the only one who really knew me at all…**_

She had collapsed to the floor, wracked by tears. She had stayed there until Spencer had found her. She had cried herself out and fell asleep. Then, there were the days of emptiness, when she moved about the loft, when she had even decided to get out of bed, like a hollow shell. Lost. Spencer covered her with the school, but she could tell that he was worried about her and stressed that he couldn't fix whatever it was. All he thought was that Sam and Carly had had a big fight.

Even Freddie had tried to pull her out of it. It took frequent visits and the grad planning sessions to eventually pull her together enough to cope with life again. She just wished that Sam would have talked to her. She had no idea that she was someplace where there was no contact at all. Something she would have to get used to in the years to come.

"Drive faster!" Carly shouted at Spencer.

"Ahhh!" Spencer shrieked in surprise. "I am! I am! The pedal only goes down so far!"

"We'll make it in time, Carly," Freddie tried to say from the back seat.

_**So take a look at me now. 'Cause there's just an empty space. There's nothing left here to remind me. Just the memory of your face.**_

Carly saw the port in sight. The clock was a minute away from the eighth hour. They pulled to the gate. Spencer stopped and shouted something to the guard. He was finding out where was Terminal 18. The guard was pointing down the long pier, past big container ships. And they were off again, zipping away from the gatehouse and down the line of ships.

_**So take a look at me now. 'Cause there's just an empty space. And you coming back to me, is against the odds and that's what I've got to face.**_

They pulled to a stop by a big building with wide open loading doors looking out the pier. A giant 18 was printed on the area high above the doors. Carly flung open the door to the car and ran out to the pier. There was a ship moving away from the dock. It was already several feet away being pulled by two tugs. In the growing darkness of dusk, she could barely make out the blonde at the railing, jumping up and down and waving frantically at Carly. If only she could hear what she was saying.

_**I wish I could just make you turn around. Turn around and see me cry. There's so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why. You're the only one who really knew me at all.**_

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Carly shouted as loud as she could, loud enough to make her go hoarse and she knew that her voice would be gone tomorrow. As gone as the only person she would ever love. Ripped away from her by two tugs and the ship Sam was on.

Carly fell to her knees, crying again, heavy sobs. "I LOVE YOU, SAMMY!!!"

She felt Spencer beside her, hands on her shoulders. "I'm sorry, Sis… I'm so, so, sorry…"

_**So take a look at me now. 'Cause there's just an empty space. There's nothing left here to remind me  
Just the memory of your face.**_

Carly covered her face in her hands and shook her head. She tried to find her voice. "No, Spencer. I'm sorry. Sorry I was ever too scared to tell the truth. Sorry to let everyone else run my life. Sorry to have lost the only person I ever loved." She looked up at Spencer through her tears that streamed down her face. "I love Sam, Spencer."

Spencer rubbed her shoulders. "I know you do, little sis. We all do…"

"NO!" Carly shrieked. "Listen to me! I _LOVE_ Sam. L-O-V-E her. As in want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-her love her. I want to kiss her and hug her and go to bed every night with her and want her to be the first person I see every morning. I want everybody to see how much I love her and I don't care what anybody thinks. Not even you, Spencer! Or Freddie, or Gramps or anyone!"

_**So take a look at me now. Cause there's just an empty space. But to wait for you is all I can do and that's what I've got to face.**_

Spencer's eyes came back down from his shocked look. "I would never have thought any less of you, Carly. You're my little sister and I love you. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters."

"Yeah, Carly," Freddie said quietly from behind her. "We all love you AND Sam. No matter what. That's what love is all about. Acceptance."

Carly began crying again: "I know," she burbled. "I know that now. But, now it's too late and I'll never see her again…"

_**Take a good look at me now. 'Cause l'll still be standing here and you coming back to me is against all odds. That's the chance I've got to take.**_

"See who again?"

Carly whipped her head around so fast that she lost her balance and fell into Spencer's arms, looking up in shock at the blonde curls hanging out from under the hoodie and the most beautiful face she had ever seen. Her mouth popped open and she was speechless.

"What?" Sam asked. "Geeze louise, Cupcake. I love ya too. But, I'm _right_ here."

Carly flew up as fast as her legs could lift her, throwing her arms around the smaller blonde's body, holding her so tight that she could never, ever leave her.

"Carls!" Sam gasped. "Crushing. Need to breathe." She managed to pull the brunette's arms back a bit.

Carly allowed herself to me moved back just enough to be able to look Sam in her face, inches apart, sharing each other's breath. "You stayed…," she beamed.

"No, duh!" Sam said. "I wanted to make sure Mel got off okay. Then this crazy car came screeching to a stop and this wild woman went chasing after the ship. No _way_ I was missing _that_ show…"

Carly just stared into Sam's grey-green eyes. They were so bright and so beautiful and all she wanted to do was spend the rest of her life looking at them. Being watched by them.

Sam curled her brows. "What? I got something in my teeth?"

"No," Carly slowly shook her head. "You stayed. You didn't go with Mel."

The brows shot up: "To Africa?? Hell no! Mama needs her food and luxuries. That's more a Melanie thing…"

"But, your email said you were both going…" Carly's voice trailed off, tilting her head as she tried to understand how she confused this whole situation.

"Really?" Was Sam _trying_ to act innocent? "It did? My, my, my…I'm sure you simply misread it…"

Carly squinted hard at the shorter blond demon. "I….bet…"

Sam shrugged and smiled. "Whatev'…"

Carly smiled back. They stood there just looking at each other. For what seemed like forever.

Sam raised an eyebrow: "Yeah?"

Carly sighed and nodded: "Yeah."


End file.
